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Juice Fast/Cleanse Recap

(definitely has nothing to do with the photo above, but I couldn’t help myself. Listening to a bunch of California jams since my return from Coachella, the radio stations there were so dope!)

So for four days K and I undertook a juice cleanse that was delicious and not as difficult as I thought. I followed some wise words from the gorgeous, hilarious and AMAZING Dara [this girl is a YouTube comic super star, Tumblrette, Cosmo web assistant, Marie Claire contributing beaty blogger, Stylecaster Columnist, avid blogger and certified diva who will write for nail polish. ::snap snap::] After reading her post on what NOT to do while on a juice cleanse I felt totally prepared to attack this. Key strategies were to make PLENTY of juice, use lots of leafy greens, and pack/consume tons of water throughout the day.

K and I made enough juice each day for the BOTH of us, approximately 6 bottles of juice that held 16 oz. each, with a little extra for the evenings. We made two types of juice, here are the gigantic recipes we used each day:

Green/Purple Juice


  • 4-6 stalks of celery
  • several cabbage leaves
  • half a bunch of parsley
  • 2 English cucumbers
  • 2 beets
  • 4 apples
  • 3 pears
  • a bunch of rainbow chard (or the tops of the beets)
  • a finger of fresh ginger
  • several carrots
  • several handfuls of spinach
  • a big container of Zico coconut water

Shove all this crazy shit (washed, peeled, and cut into appropriate sizes naturally) through your juicer. We are in love with our Omega masticating juicer because it has the capacity to destroy leafy greens, ginger, and other items that normally juicers can’t handle. It’s definitely pricey but we’ve used it A LOT and in our house we put priority on what we do in the kitchen.

Pink Juice [courtesy of my Abuelita who says she uses this to retain her “forma” which makes me die laughing, her vanity is so cute!]


  • Half a papaya, seeds removed unless you want to shit yourself
  • 4-5 large grapefruits, peeled and sectioned
  • 1 large aloe vera leaf, prickly edges and green ring removed (innards should be clear and goopy, do not use if the inside is red!)
  • Plenty of coconut water

I used our juicer for the grapefruit in this recipe but used a blender for the papaya, aloe vera flesh, and coconut water. They were too sticky/soft for the juicer really, and I preferred the texture of the juice this way. Mix them both together and you have a tart and tasty juice! Aloe vera (savila) is known to have curative properties for people suffering from stomach aliments such as Krohn’s disease, gastritis, and even colon cancer. It also helps remove some of the impacted shit you, I and everyone has hanging out in our colons thanks to processed foods. Excccccelent.

Day 1:

Woke up early excited to juice, super! At work I was feeling slightly head-achey, a true sign that your body is getting rid of gross stuff. I went to lunch with my co-worker and only had juice, which was actually pretty easy for me this day. I chugged water throughout the day and was feeling like a million bucks. I went to TWO dance classes that night because I felt so charged up on energy. Not a good choice I would find out the next day.

Day 2:

Feeling tired as SHIT from my dancing escapade the night before. Not as excited to make the same juice again. I was following roughly the mean green juice I saw in the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead by Joe Cross. [Good documentary, corny website, if you have Netflix give it a whirl.] K and I both agreed that we should have really researched more recipes or something to make this more interesting. We just bought a TON of the ingredients listed for the mean green recipe and figured that with pink juice would be fine. Ultimately it was, but it got boring by day 4 and we were ready for a change.

Day 2 was the worst because I was so tired from dancing, my skin started to break out [another common symptom of your body detoxing], my head hurt, and I felt crazy depressed at lunch watching my co-workers eat fried pickle chips [!!!] and brisket nachos and other ridiculously tempting food. This evening I felt less energetic and was honestly hungry by night time. No food, though, just reading and keeping my mind off my stomach before bed. Smoking helped :]

Day 3:

We both notice that the morning time is the best! Waking up feeling rejuvenated, full of energy, focused and positive was very addicting. Got hungry again in the evening, watched some Netflix and read to get our minds off of food porn. My skin was looking super fly by this point, visibly firmer, my notorious under eye circles nearly gone, and my eczema was cleared up as well! My stomach was also MUCH flatter, and it was at this point we both realized how odd it was to be shitting solid waste even though we hadn’t consumed any solid food in three days. Wuuuuut…..

Day 4:

Again with the morning happiness that just slowly dissolved once work was over. I blame the lack of variety in our juices. This will not happen next time. We decided to break our fast that night and go to dinner, and we did NOT heed the well-touted advice of easing back into eating normal foods with very healthy things. We ended up just having a few bites of burger/nachos at a bougie sports bar near the UT campus I wanted to go to since that is where I felt like I would die on Day 2 watchign my co-workers eat things that I couldn’t. Lesson learned: that food will be instantly repelled by your stomach, you’ll feel like shit, and remember why you did the cleanse in the first place.

Not chewing anything for a few days was weird of course, and eating is such a big part of K and I’s life. We always talk about food, plan what we’ll eat, glorify ethnic cuisine to the highest status, and cook like maniacs, so not chewing was the veritable antithesis of what we stood for most normal days. It was a great experience, I want to do it again soon, and I have actually been bringing juice back into our normal mix of meals throughout the weeks.

My skin looked flawless after the cleanse, 5 lbs were gone (not to return!), my stomach was visibly flatter, my overall body looked tighter, and my mind and spirit felt clear and focused. Give it a try, it won’t hurt.

Questions? Inbox me :]

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  1. envelopetide posted this
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